3:30 AM

It always seems to be very late at night when I am kept awake by my thoughts running a race with no end in sight.

You have to recognize that you have committed a soul mistake or “sin” to become enlightened to some degree. Tonight I have taken responsibility of the karma I am working out in this life time. There are so many people in which I need to apologize too. I need to apologize to mother earth and my creator for I have caused damage to their mankind. Sometimes the darkness blinds us and we are unable to see the light. This is so harmful to stay in these states for long periods of time as it causes more harm to the others around you then yourself. I am sorry mostly to my mother and father who had to see their daughter losing her will to live. I was mis-informed about well-being back then. I didn’t realize the cure was so simple until I began to study natural health and medicine. I am strong now, and I am well. I have such big eyes and a deep deep strong heart and soul. I love you both so much and I am so sorry I put you through those hard times, but I thank those experiences everyday as it was the pain that led me here to the place where I can heal others divinely, because I HAVE BEEN THERE. There are various others who deserve a mention on here, but I’m pretty sure you know who you are. I have asked to be forgiven. I AM asking to be forgiven. Clear me of the pain, darkness, destruction, and frustration, I have caused to all things.

Often I think to myself that I am living in a world I don’t belong in. The deeper I get into my own personal discoveries of truth and awareness the further I distance myself from the mainstream lifestyle. I’m a raw/wild foodist with the intent of eating the most nutritious, nutrient dense foods possible for optimal health. Why is it so hard for people to see that this is the cure to so many disease and unwellness. Do people not love their bodies or themselves enough to want to feed themselves LIFE everyday instead of death and disease!?

I watch so many walk nonchalant through the dust and clutter and not blink an eye to it. I am hoping I am speaking in a way that you understand me…… This is the real and raw me. But this place really scares me if I pay attention to the obvious processed consumption = processed personalities. Or what about those who drink in excess or use drugs? What ever happened to life’s simplicities delighting the senses? Why do some require artificial means of enjoying themselves? It makes me not feel very well. How can you trust these people who do not have enough self-respect to take care of their bodies (or as I call it a temple)? We all know if you do not love yourself, loving others is difficult.

Think about that equation.

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