Bullying: Get to the root cause instead

Our inner states are reflected on the words that we speak and the actions we make. When children, young adults, and adults become bullies instead of us creating huge campaigns about STOPPING it – why are we continuing to place a band-aid over the problem, suppressing it, and not dealing with bullies deep inner challenges?

I’ve been bullied at various points in my life at all different levels of intensity and insanity. I was bullied as a little girl for being “different” and ” fat”, even suffered racism many times in combination. I was ganged up on in high school to the point where I had to leave as I was no longer safe there. First it was where I had to wait until everyone was in class to walk to my class so I wasn’t bullied in the hallways, then it progressed to have school security escort me, then I had no choice I had to leave because even the principal and teachers were frightened of certain students. Students who were expelled for things they did to me who were coming back on to school property to cause harm to me. I remember re-calling my 11th grade math teacher hiding me in her classroom because one of the bully girls was looking for me.

The saddest thing was that the main reason why I was bullied at that time was mostly because I took good care of myself in high school. I was bullied for being fat (and I was hardly fat at all!) in middle school and I had worked full-time for grades 9 and 10, and schooled myself at night so I could escape the pain I suffered each day, and to also afford to save for my own business and pleasure,  as well as work on making myself fit and pretty so I was never bullied for how I looked ever again. I was truly a swan when I reached high school, and I could buy myself expensive clothing, pay for extra hair styling, and I literally never wore the same purse, jacket, or shoe twice in one month. What these bullies failed to understand is that you should never judge a book by its cover. I came from humble beginnings and was never a brag or thought I was better than anyone for this reason. My family was extremely loving where both of my parents taught me important values and were strict in making sure I was always true to what I was told by them. My parents taught me that your worth is not determined by the price of your clothes but how you treat others, to treat everyone like a brother or a sister, and to treat people the way you wanted to be treated. I stood by this principle in my behavior and I was kind, generous, and loving to everyone. I couldn’t comprehend these hateful energies and people around me – I was simply not raised to abuse other people physically or with words.

I liked nice things and celebrating being a woman by wearing clothes that made me feel beautiful. I wasn’t into boys, I didn’t care I just wanted to get through school to make my dreams a reality. Parties, boys, and dating were not a part of my teenage life – determination, and extreme suffering were. All because I was bullied.

It all started on the bus home from school one day, I was the new girl in town and I sat alone by myself in the front of the bus – usually reading, and going-over notes from the previous nights homework. When one day a boy named Angelo* (names have been changed) sat beside me and started talking to me – he seemed interested in the project I was working on and started to have a very intellectual conversation with me – I was impressed so when he asked if he could have my number so he could show me around the new city I was living I didn’t think twice about it. It seemed completely harmless – so I thought! The next day at school his girlfriend Veronica* found my number in his wallet  and (who happened to be one of the roughest toughest meanest yet one of the prettiest girls in school) threatened me with my life. Rumors were created and more girls started to gang up on me – I had no chance, I was the new girl in town and literally 90% of the girls were against me already because of that one innocent action. It didn’t matter what I said I didn’t stand a chance, these girls could say anything about me and everyone would believe it. The bigger the lie there is the more people who will believe it.

All the money I saved for my future dreams spent moving me away from my parents, to live with family half way across the globe. The most vital years of a young womans life spent away from the people she loved and trusted the most in this world.  It’s sad that my family had to break apart because of broken families not raising their children to respect others.

Understand the interconnectedness of this situation – I was bullied by a broken person and in return it broke MY family apart. We are ALL responsible to some degree. Education must be in place instead of parading around with a stop sign and simply standing up and telling people to STOP. People need true sincere love of self in order for them to be able to stop hurting others. Bullying is the result of so much pain, fear, and negative feelings trapped up inside that these people feel like they have to unleash on someone else in order for them to take off the pressure on their chest.

To this day I still have trouble accepting being bullied, as any person with a big beating heart would – the torment these people must have inside is heartbreaking. I strongly feel that the answer is beyond creating these big campaigns ect – it is getting to the root cause and setting up proper solutions for people who have aggressive behavior and take it out on innocent victims. Nobody deserves to be treated badly at the actions of someone else, it is not up to us to punish other people – we need to trust in karma to take care of some people. However, I think the most important thing is to recognize bullies and educate yourself, and your loved ones on why people are mean for no reason. Especially teaching kids not to accept it, but to stand up for themselves by asking that person why they feel the need to take out their inner garbage and dump it on them? That bad harrassing behavior is a result of inner lack, fear, and insecurity. Bullies need to be forced to THINK about their actions and put on the spot for them, and made aware that we can see their worth when they behave out of line and unreasonable to others.

In schools, I think they should educate children and young adults on WHY people are bullies. I think just creating this kind of awareness alone will make a lot of people re-think their behavior. Also, schools should offer proper guidance counsellors and healers on site so when a bully is present they can be reported to them and forced to see these people for help.There has been too many deaths and tragedies like my story that could have been avoided if proper behavioral education and healing support was in place for these insecure and broken individuals.

All bullies are people who are scared inside due to a lack of love in my opinion. They need to be exposed to their inner self so that they can be healed from their trauma inside that makes them behave out of line with others. People need to be aware that with the growing consciousness the inner self of a bully is becoming more and more exposed, where people can be ashamed of their poor judgement and bad treatment of other people and can go and get help.


 

Marina Love is a leader in the fields of Nutrition, Herbalism, Longevity, Entrepreneurship & Personal/Spiritual Development. Marina studied extensively with The BodyMind Institute and has become an entrepreneurial power-house in Feminine Empowerment Medicine. Marina offers Goddess CirclesCacao Ceremonies and Individual therapy sessions & Programs in addition to her projects Goddesspreneur Academy, Love Movement, Guiltless Chocolates & Goddess Beauty. Her heart’s mission is to holistically empower women by all means possible in the spirit of sisterhood, non-competition, embracing the Goddess within and holding space for surrender.

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